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Friday, 20 January 2012

  • off balance

    I honestly don't even know where to start, there is just so much that has happened to me over the past few months. Emotional roller coaster is an understatement.

    When JT's father passed, we decided it was best to break up. He was too focused on him and it was unfair to try and make a new-ish relationship work.

    I started dating this guy, JW. He was older, nine years. A regular at my job and after a while we started connecting and talking and eventually we started dating. He even took me to this amazing music and art festival in Live Oak, had a total blast. We got pretty serious, pretty quick.

    And then the same thing happened that always happens... I start loosing my temper, starting fights for no real reason. Distancing myself from him, so we ended up spliting up.

    Then I let some prick from highschool take advantage of me, like an idiot.

    All the while, working full time at a job that I absolutely hate. And living back at home without a car, without real privacy. Having to depend on other people for things.

    I let stress eat me up, literally... since October, I've lost over thirty pounds. Usually I would be thrilled, I've been trying to get back down to my "High School" size. But the reason I've lost the weight is because I can't eat without instantly feeling ill.

    The worst part is I don't feel good at all, even a little. I still feel like I'm huge. When I try to talk to people about it they laugh it off, tell me I'm too thin already, that I'm over reacting... but I can't help how I feel.

    I wake up in the middle of the night, freaking out. Sick to my stomach, can't explain why. I'm so tired all of the time but its like I can't shut my thoughts off. My whole body aches from working so hard.

    It can't be normal, to be so tired and so sore, and to be loosing so much weight without trying. And the anger issues, I'm so stressed out. I'm so tense and on edge all of the time.

    I constantly feel this need to have someone to depend on. I'm so needy. Being single at the moment is a different feeling. I don't really have anyone I can call at anytime to cry to anymore. So I've turned to painting, listening to Dark Dark Dark, and long walks.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

  • Fisrt off Im apolagizing now for the typos. Im typing this on my phone.

    News? Um matt is a crazy druged out looney who's bipolar gf threatened to slit my throut if I ever spoke to him again. Nice.

    Im about a second away from quitting my job because of lack of disciplin and leadership.

    My dad turned off house phone. Internet. Netflix. And extended cable because we are so in debt.

    I currently only have two dollars and twelve cents to my name.

    Butttttttttt thursday is josh and I four months together.
    I love him. So much. He's just amazing.

    I cleaned me room. Yay

    And sophie is bigger than deogie now.

    Idk. Im high and felt like writing right quick.

Monday, 11 July 2011

  • ·         stole from @NVPhotography hehe

     

    CROSS OFF THE THINGS THAT PERTAIN TO YOU...

    Appearance
    I have/had piercings besides the ears.
    I want piercings besides the ears.
    I have many scars.
    I tan easily.
    I wish my hair was a different color.
    I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
    I have/want a tattoo.
    I can be self-conscious about my appearance.
    I have/had braces. (retainers)
    I have more than two piercings.

    Embarrassment
    Disney movies still make me cry.
    I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
    I’ve glued my hand to something.
    I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose
    I’ve had my pants rip in public.
    I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.

    Health
    I’ve gotten stitches.
    I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
    I’ve had my tonsils removed.
    I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
    I’ve had chicken pox.

    Travel
    I’ve been to Florida.
    I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometers in one day.
    I’ve been on a plane.
    I’ve been to Colombia
    I’ve been to Cuba.
    I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
    I’ve been to Ottawa
    I’ve been to the Caribbean.
    I’ve been to Europe.

    Experiences
    I’ve gotten lost in my city.
    I’ve seen a shooting star.
    I’ve wished on a shooting star.
    I’ve seen a meteor shower.
    I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
    I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
    I’ve slapped someone.
    I’ve kissed someone underwater.
    I’ve chugged something.
    I’ve crashed a car.
    I’ve been skiing.
    I’ve been in a musical.
    I’ve auditioned for something.
    I’ve been on stage.
    I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
    I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
    I’ve pranked someone.
    I’ve ridden in a taxi.

    Honesty / Crime
    I’ve been threatened to be arrested. 
    I’ve broken a law.
    I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.
    I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
    I’ve sneaked out.
    I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
    I’ve cheated while playing a game.
    I’ve been in a fist fight.

    Death
    I’m afraid of dying.
    I hate funerals.
    I’ve seen someone/something die.
    Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
    I have attempted suicide.
    I’ve thought about suicide before.
    I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

    Materialism
    I own over 5 rap CD’s.
    I’m obsessed with anime/manga.
    I collected comic books.
    I own a lot of makeup.
    I own something from Pac Sun.
    I own something from The Gap.
    I own something I got on E-Bay.
    I own something from Abercrombie.
    I thrive on compliments.
    I thrive on hate.

    Random
    I can sing low key.
    I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
    I open up to others easily.
    I watch the news occasionally or always.
    I don’t like to kill bugs.
    I sing in the shower.
    I’m a morning person.
    I’m a sports fanatic. 
    I twirl my hair.
    I care about grammar.
    I love spam.
    I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
    I bake well.
    My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, blue, red, black, purple, or orange.
    I would wear pajamas to school.
    I like Martha Stewart.
    I laugh at my own jokes.
    I eat fast food weekly.
    I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
    I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.
    I’m really ticklish.
    I like white chocolate.
    I bite my nails.
    I’m good at remembering names.
    I’m good at remembering dates.
    I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

    People
    ..used to ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.
    ..called me fat.
    ..say I’m skinny.
    ..have said I’m ugly.
    ..have said I’m pretty. 
    ..have spread rumors about me.
    ..force me to eat. 
    ..say I eat too much.
    ..say I eat too little.

    Eating
    I’ve lost weight.
    I’ve gained weight.
    I’m at my thinnest.
    I’m at my biggest.
    I’ve lost weight and kept it off.
    I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.
    My weight affects my mood. A lot.
    I diet. 
    I’m vegan/vegetarian.
    I exercise.
    I’ve fainted from exhaustion. 

    Family
    I’ve sworn at my parents.
    I’ve planned to run away from home before.
    I’ve run away from home.
    My biological parents are together.
    I have a sibling less than one year old.
    I want kids.
    I’ve had kids.
    I’ve lost a child.

    Relationships
    I’m/been engaged.
    I’m married.
    I’m a swinger.
    I’ve gone on a blind date.
    I have/had a friend with benefits.
    I miss someone right now.
    I have a fear of abandonment.
    I’ve gotten divorced.
    I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
    Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.
    I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
    I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
    I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

    Sexuality
    I’m a cuddler.
    I’ve been kissed in the rain.(and madeout too, I might add     )
    I’ve hugged a stranger.
    I’ve kissed a stranger.

    Bad times
    I regularly drink.
    I can’t swallow pills
    I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.
    I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.
    I have/had anxiety problems.
    I shut others out when I’m upset.
    I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.
    I have taken/take anti-depressants.
    I’ve slept an entire day before.
    I’ve plotted revenge.

     

Sunday, 10 July 2011

  • Cupcake Ideas

    I'm trying to come up with a good list of future cupcake ideas I can offer to friends and family members that are constantly asking me to bake them cupcakes for parties. I've tried a few of them but most are just general ideas that I haven't gotten the opportunity to try yet. I wanted to get them posted online somewhere so I don't have to worry about loosing them. Let me know if any sound good to you!

    -Red Velvet with Cream Cheese Frosting
    -Banana nut cake with Nutella Frosting
    -Carrot cake with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting
    -Banana Chocolate Chip with a Chocolate Ganache and Chocolate Frosting
    -Chocolate Cake with Crumbled Peanut butter cups and a Peanut Butter Frosting
    -Chocolate Cake with Mint Frosting
    -Twix inspired: Chocolate Cake with a Shortbread crust on the bottom, Chocolate Caramel Frosting with a Caramel Drizzle with sea salt on top.
    -Vanilla cake with a ball of cookie dough in the middle. Chocolate frosting
    -Vanilla Raspberry cake with mango and white chocolate filling and a Passion fruit frosting
    -Amaretto Sour: Vanilla Amaretto cake with cherry, sour mix frosting. Topped with cherry
    -Banana Split: Vanilla cake, Banana cream filling, chocolate ganache, strawberry buttercream, chopped peanuts and a cherry on top.
    -S mores: Graham cracker crust, chocolate cake, marshmallow frosting, toasted.
    -PB+J: Peanut butter cake. Jam filling, Peanut butter swirled with jam frosting topped with fruit of jam flavor. (Raspberry, strawberry, grape, orange, etc.)
    -Chai spice cake with vanilla cinnamon frosting
    -Vanilla Cinnamon Cake with cream cheese frosting. Topped with cinnamon sugar mix.
    -Ginger cake with a lemon cream cheese frosting.
    -Key Lime Pie: Vanilla cake. Inserted with Key lime jelly. Vanilla whip cream frosting topped with sugar and lime zest
    -Cinnamon cake with blueberry's and a lemon cream cheese frosting topped with cinnamon sprinkle.
    -Pumpkin chocolate chip cake with cinnamon chocolate frosting.
    -Chocolate Coffee cake with chocolate ganache and vanilla almond frosting. Chopped almonds on top.
    -Cookies and Cream: Chocolate cake. Oreo vanilla frosting
    -Chocolate Cake with coconut frosting
    -Pistachio cake with vanilla almond frosting
    -Butter pecan cake with brown sugar frosting
    -Orange Cream (Creamsicle) Cupcakes
    -Rocky Road Cupcakes
    -Caramel Apple: Apple spice cake with caramel center vanilla pecan frosting topped with chopped nuts and a caramel drizzle


    That's all I got so far. hmm

About Me

  • Hey guys, names Danielle. I'm an on again, off again BCC student with no real aspirations besides making money and loving life. I work at Starbucks. I was born in Illinois but I've pretty much spent my entire life in Florida and I can't wait to get out of here. I graduated from Bayside High School in 2008, GO BEARS! I don't have a set idea on where I'm going in life but I have so many interests only my indecision can slow me down. These are a few of my favorite things- Peace signs, Tattoos, Steam Punk, Globes, Flowers, Stars, Moons, Suns, Hello Kitty, Chunky Rings, Hot Air Balloons, Antique Keys, Compasses, Umbrellas,Antique Clocks, Sea Horses, Moths, Bottle Caps, Treble Clefs, Violins. I have 3 tattoos and I plan on adding to my collection just as soon as I can put some cash to the side. Thanks for reading ♥

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